Thin&Pretty

Disgusted

I want to cry, I want to puke up all the food I ate despite how gross that sounds. I hate having to check the nutritional content of anything before I buy it. I hate having to watch what I eat everyday. I hate my binges, after eating even one bad item, I’ll feel like since I f*cked up anyways, what’s a little more gonna hurt? I hate my logic, I hate how weak I am.

I need this, so bad. I have to do this. I have to.

Crying won’t help me, no one will help me, I have to do this by myself, I need to be strong. I will do it, I’ll become thin and perfect before school starts.

02/08/2012

I’m scared to step on the scale. I binged uncontrollably for the past few days. I think I found the trigger now, whenever I’m watching tv/movies/dramas, anything that involves motion pictures, I have this urge to binge. I think is mostly due to boredom, but this trend must stop.

From tomorrow, I will start fasting. Absolutely no food until dinner time.

Plan:

Tomorrow, only allowed to consume food during dinner, and in moderate amount.

I really need this, I have to be strong, I need this, I need the perfect body.

Be skinny or be dead. Is not extreme, not at all, I hate my body, I hate myself for being weak, I need to be perfect, I have to be perfect, and I will be perfect. I’m not going to f*ck up my diet anymore, I’m not going to give in to crap food anymore.

I’m done being fat, I’m done hating my self, I’m done not being what I wanted.

3 years, I lived with my imperfection for 3 years, I’m wasting my youth, I’m wasting my life.

I HAVE TO DO THIS! I CAN’T BE FAT ANYMORE, I NEED TO BE SKINNY.

I WILL CHECK BACK DAILY FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH, I NEED TO BE PERFECT AT THE END OF THIS MONTH.

27/07/2012

Having people over for dinner today, must resist the urge to overindulge and reduce my previous efforts to naught.

I read an article today on negative body image, apparently it is reported to plight more than 97% woman. I guess while some of us wants to slim down, the ones who are naturally thin might wish otherwise. So goes the saying, the grass is always greener on the other side.

Following today would be a weekend of temptation, going out with friends and later to a social event. Hope I can stay strong!

26/07/2012

Kind of feel guilty after eating bunch of low calorie junk food. I think I’ll go easy on dinner and try to move around in my chair as much as possible. Surely it must take calories to lift my leg!

Healthy Snacks

Here’s a few healthy low calorie snacks for summer time! :)

Frozen fruits! They are absolutely wonderful for summer time and can taste as great as ice cream.

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Frozen Grapes:

Wash and dry grapes, store in plastic bag and then place into the freezer for 2-3hours, or until firm.

Frozen Banana with Yogurt”

Peel and cut banana into thin slices, place evenly on plate and spread your choice of creamy yogurt on top. Store in freezer for 2-3hours, or again until firm.

25/07/2012

This is meant to be a personal blog to encourage myself through my weight loss journey.

I have been skinny through out my teenage life, and gained an unsightly amount of weight near the end of my high school career. Before that, I never used to care about weight, appearances and such. Blessed with a high metabolism, I was able to eat almost any junk I want and was still able to stay skinny. However, as I aged, my metabolism stalled, and unfortunately, I did not have the foresight to change my eating habits. After two years of eating crap and not exercising, I topped the scales at my highest weight (###). During that period, I tried my best to avoid bathroom mirrors and anything that shows my reflection; all I see is my fat thighs huge belly, and flabby arms. Those days, when people jokingly commented on my weight, I would die a little on the inside.

Hence my determination to become thin again, because I know I will never be happy until I reach my old weight. My first goal weight is 20pounds away, and I intend to achieve this within 2 months by eating healthy and exercising frequently. I am determined to become the best that I can be, and determined to become thin and pretty again.